Advice from a man

dfrac · 07-25-2003

THIS is why men don't get to write advice columns...

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him, then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

Dfrac

ainwein · 07-25-2003

Quote:

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

Hahahahaha

07-25-2003

ROFL that was amazing

Prezto · 07-25-2003

That's awesome dfrac....Lol

Kialya · 07-26-2003

/em blocks this thread from her husband

Tierfin · 07-26-2003

owned lol

Talari · 07-26-2003

OMG THATS FRIGGIN GREAT! HAHAHA

Tranzure · 05-17-2005

Funny stuff!...and hey Pinches!

almadar · 05-19-2005

I seriously doubt he's ever gonna reply to you.

Akie · 05-20-2005

ROFL damn. LOL

07-25-2003	#1
dfrac Insufferable Old Fool Joined: Jun 2002 Posts: 103 vCash: 1000	Advice from a man THIS is why men don't get to write advice columns... Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it. Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him, then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal. Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal. Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one. A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal. Dfrac
$dfrac is offline$

07-26-2003	#6
Tierfin Propagandistic Anarchist Joined: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 523 vCash: 1000	hmm owned lol

07-26-2003	#7
Talari Diabolical Neophyte Joined: Nov 2001 Posts: 242 vCash: 1000	Re: hmm OMG THATS FRIGGIN GREAT! HAHAHA

05-17-2005	#8
Tranzure Disrespectful Midget Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 720 vCash: 1000	Funny stuff!...and hey Pinches! __________________ *Tranzure* Enchanter Vallis Aspectus

05-19-2005	#9
almadar Insufferable Old Fool Joined: Oct 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 113 vCash: 1000	re I seriously doubt he's ever gonna reply to you. __________________ Impresario Almadar died 2 years ago

07-25-2003	#3
Pinches Giyems Guest Joined: Posts: n/a vCash:	ROFL that was amazing

07-25-2003	#4
Prezto Diabolical Neophyte Joined: Apr 2002 Location: Dallas, Texas Posts: 303 vCash: 1000	That's awesome dfrac....Lol

07-26-2003	#5
Kialya Insufferable Old Fool Joined: Dec 2002 Location: Georgia Posts: 80 vCash: 1000	/em blocks this thread from her husband

05-20-2005	#10
Akie Master of Squirrels Joined: Feb 2003 Location: Michigan Posts: 120 vCash: 1000	ROFL damn. LOL

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