Tlaaneq

I know i want this question asked, to see a few opinions. But i'm not exactly sure how, so i'm just going to rant, i apoligize if it jumps around, or if it doesn't make much sense, i'll come back and fix it after work tomarrow if something doesn't make sense.

To what sort of an extent should one hold a grudge?

Is there any sort of REAL respect between friends.




This question is very dear and personal to me, and normally i wouldn't slam my private life onto any sort of a public forum, but i've been getting alot of flak from my close friends (And my girlfriend) about how i hold a grudge.

Heres the part where i tell you the circumstances as to why i hold this perticular grudge, however it would take days just to write every last little bit, so i'll just give the basics (Which really do not give an accurate idea of WHY i feel this way)

I'll give the main reason, mind you there are 6 months of things after this that all add up to this. mind you tho i found out about this 6 months after it happened, being lied to about it is another main factor, i am very straight forward, and very honost (Which i find to be more of a charicter flaw then a strength mind you)

I'll be quick about it.

I basically had two very very close male friends, Matt, and Jon. A while back my girlfriend and i were having a few troubles in our relationship, so we decided to take a break. We both had our things, and when we got backtogeather, we told eachother and delt with it. She neglected to tell me one. 5 months after we get back togeather i asked her to marry me infront of jon and his fiance, we were all very happy. about a week later i made her swear on our enguagement that there was nothing left she had to tell me about our time apart (mind you durring that 5 months.. more and more things kept.. popping into her mind she had to tell me, or should i say, things i learned that i forced out of her) it was at this point she told me that her and jon were fucking like bunnies.

Needless to say i was angry, and well, since then i've acted a bit strange and diffrently than i do. (Refusing to go certen places etc) And yes, i know i'm overreacting, but at the time she told me i already had a fragle mind. just a week before she had told me about how 2 weeks after we got backtogeather she went off and fucked another one of my friends! so i was still in a fragile state of mind from her cheating on me.

I know this seems like a pretty petty dramatic thing, but it brings to mind two real good debate questions.

Where does respect end in a really close friendship? (IE, am i the only one that believes it's wrong to fuck your best friends ex? and by best friend i don't mean someone you know very well, i mean the person you would trust blindly with your life.)

**Edit** I had asked two questions eariler, but decided against giving reasons and examples for the grudge question. But if anyone wants to give it a shot go ahed :-p

Anywho, sorry for wasting some peoples time, but i am really curious if i am the only person who feels that thats wrong.

Also, i've heard the "it was fair game response" Thats not what i'm looking for, i understand this, it's a respect issue, not a fair game issue.

Sanchek

"You can't make a housewife out of a whore" --Dad

Talid

Normally...I'd want to answer your question in as offensive a manner as possible, because I'm an asshole.

But what the fuck - she fucked your friend, you decided to air your dirty laundry on a gaming messageboard. They're both pretty terrible really. Seek some help and maybe consider asking if Jon's fiancee will be your fuck buddy for 5months to compensate for lost time. It's only fair.

Talid

Quoted incase you decide this was really stupid and try to delete it.

trimlock

"my wife told me i was one in a million, i found out it was true!"

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Talid: THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL BAD I AM GOING TO GO KILL INFANT PUPPIES NOW

Q: How do you know that Jesus and Hitler enjoyed pineapple on their pizza?
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LummusL

Ouch. Well, you are aware you posted this in NAG, right? Some folks might be a rather...um...insensative towards your situation.

Well, here goes. Unless there is real TRUE love between you and this woman, break it off. You both arn't ready to get married, especially if she is so eager to jump into the sack with your friends literally hours after you have a break up. Sounds like neither yourself or your fiance have your heads quite screwed on yet. I can guess the grudge is against your buddy, who went along with the whole lets fuck like rabbits thing with your fiance who was your ex at the time. The guy thought with his dick instead of being a friend.

Friend of mine, James, had the same thing happen to him. He met a girl in college,Anne, and they had their ups and downs but mostly it seemed they were made for each other. They had a breakup or two, and during one of the break ups, she immediately started screwing one of his best friends, named Steve. She drove from Atlanta to Saint Simons ( a long ass drive) every weekend to see this guy and they kept it on the down low until she had feelings renewed for my friend again. Ultimately she confessed the whole thing and James forgave her. They are now happily married after 5 years of playing the dating games, but 3rd party, Steve from Saint Simons, is a name to never be mentioned in front of my buddy to this day. I am sure if James ever saw Steve, the police would have to be called. The grudge will persist indefinately, but this is a case of true love, and he valued the relationship with Anne alot more than the friendship with Steve.

So either way, you have to give time for things to work out.

Best of luck to you.

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"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!"

"If you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk!"

Elemak the Enchanter

you're forgiving the wrong person

Dump HER

Trust me, If she cheated once, and lied, and lied, and lied. She's going to do it again.

Give your buddy a good 'head or gut' and move on with your lives.

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gaediianiel

i swear i saw this on jerry springer...

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Gaediianiel - Arcadia - Nagafen - EQ2

Osgiliath666

Truer words have never been spoken...

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"It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American decent into Marxism is happening with breath taking speed, against the back drop of a passive, hapless sheeple, excuse me dear reader, I meant people."

Talveran Shadowbomb

If you keep holding it against her, you may as well dump her. It will come up every argument anyways, might as well save yourself some time (unless she gives mad head during make up sex, then I would consider stringing her along and boning one of her friends).

Jon is not your friend, he needs to go as well, a real friend would never tap your ex without permission.

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