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Gulor Gularin
08-22-2003, 07:55 PM
I just got this forwarded to me in e-mail and got a chuckle out of it. Enjoy.

Subject: The Robin Williams Plan

Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)

I see a lot of people yelling for peace, but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's my plan:

1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in the affairs of other countries, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich and the rest of those 'good ole boys.' We will never "interfere" again.

2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there anyway. We would station troops at our borders and allow no one to sneak through holes in the fence.

3. We will allow all illegal aliens 90 days to get their affairs together and leave this country and will give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of
who or where they are. I'm sure France would welcome them.

4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days, unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5. No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home, baby.

6. Energy wise, the US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement, or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get little or nothing.

9. Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.

The Language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...

Now, ain't that a winner of a plan.

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'" -

Kivorn
08-22-2003, 09:42 PM
If you do that I'll... I'll... curse your swedish meatballs!

Osgiliath666
08-22-2003, 10:41 PM
Sounds good to me... Either that or just say fuck it and take over the world. Lets stop just pussy footing around. One or the other Lets go AMERICA!

Talari
08-22-2003, 10:43 PM
I hate Robin Williams with a passion... bite me cause he sucks my left one.

/rant on

trimlock
08-22-2003, 10:52 PM
robin williams, in my opinion is one of the last funny public comedians

and that was some of his magic, great stuff

Talari
08-22-2003, 10:59 PM
he will mumble say something dumb like peanut butter and everyone will laugh... thats not funny

ehrnam
08-22-2003, 11:06 PM
He's absolutely one of the funniest men alive. His Broadway standup act had me crying.

Osgiliath666
08-23-2003, 01:11 AM
VERY funny dude.

Selwen Soulgazer
08-23-2003, 09:41 AM
Robin Williams is straight up brilliant. Live on Broadway not only had me laughing so hard I had tears rollin, my mom had the tears rollin from laughter too.
" tell me ladies,when we go down on you does it look like ths? " -Pricless.

DiscW
08-24-2003, 02:05 AM
Robin Williams is a comedy god.

Scarmaker
08-24-2003, 05:54 AM
would be nice if robin williams actually said that

Please adhere to the signature rules - Kiv

Selwen Soulgazer
08-24-2003, 07:35 AM
He did actually say the Statue of Liberty part.

jdawg112
08-24-2003, 07:49 AM
Only idiots from some foreign guild wouldn't enjoy the quality of humor Robin Williams offers. Death to scums! (tm)

Talari
08-24-2003, 08:11 AM
Lol i just dont like him... everyone else might but ya know i dont.. Jim Norton pwns all

Baloghdarogue
08-24-2003, 03:34 PM
Robin Williams for president!

Selwen Soulgazer
08-24-2003, 10:07 PM
The thing I love about Robin Williams is that he can be in any situation and make you laugh your ass off at the stuff he comes up with on the spot.
He was the first guest on the Dennis Miller show and the whole show was just him goin off. Dennis just let him run.It was great.

Shewdogg
08-24-2003, 10:55 PM
I don't really care for Robin Williams, he does stand up like he's a crackhead thats out of money. Dave Chappelle > all.

IN YO FACE BIATCH!

Talari
08-24-2003, 11:31 PM
Dave is mega leet.. his laugh just makes me crack up for hours... you could say hes DYNOMITE!!! Robin williams needs to think about shaving or waxing.. he has more hair on one knuckle then the guitarist in shewdogg's sig (see above)

trimlock
08-25-2003, 06:16 PM
to me, dave gets very boring after the first 15 minutes of stand up, his shit is just rehash of the first 5 minutse, and rehash some more, don't get me wrong there are some instances of his that makes me laugh just as much as i do when i watch george carlin, but he is definetly not as good as robin williams

Dartaignon
08-25-2003, 06:22 PM
Denis Leary > all

Bring me a live cow over here, I'll carve off what I want, and ride the rest HOME!!! *Bonanza Song*

mirdorr
08-25-2003, 06:29 PM
I hear you on Chappelle. Some friends of mine love his show, but there's nothing that cracks me up.

Of course, his show about Chicago had that screaming, cursing hotdog stand place. Freaking hilarious.

ehrnam
08-25-2003, 06:41 PM
chapelle's Vice City bit was fucking awesome.

Gerfs
08-25-2003, 07:10 PM
Man Carrot Top > All!!!

Holy shit did I just say that?!? Someone shoot me!

trimlock
08-26-2003, 01:56 AM
yea i agree mirrdor, but like i said, hes got his moments, and is nothing compared to robin williams

Lleauric
08-26-2003, 02:36 AM
So everyone can know what Ehrnam is squawking about

javascript:p opup('www.gta-action.com/dlm/do...,800,600); (http://www.gta-action.com/dlm/download.php?id=219&design',800,600);)

Shewdogg
08-26-2003, 12:04 PM
You're thinking of Dave Atell, Mirdorr. The dude that walks around and gets drunk and chain smokes in different cities while taking 1000000 pictures with disposable cameras.

Talari
08-27-2003, 06:18 AM
hes cool too tho.. not as good as Chappelle or Jim Norton tho

trimlock
08-27-2003, 07:13 AM
dave atell is cool, but i don't find his show to have alot of comedy in it, its just cool to see how some places are late night

Gerfs
08-27-2003, 08:04 PM
Yep most of the places Dave goes late at night look like Gokku's bedroom with all those drag queens!!That's why you like to see it Gokuu!:p

MarzMartini
08-27-2003, 08:57 PM
Tough crowd with Colin Quinn > Dave Attell

trimlock
08-28-2003, 12:27 AM
gonna have to hurt gerf now

and yea, marz i agree!

quinn was great on SNL too

Esbat
08-28-2003, 07:36 PM
Qinn's sense of timing is second rate- I find him funny mostly because he bumbles around and makes himself look like an idiot. It is easy to find humor close to home, I guess.

Attell has a fast wit and does a good job capturing a slice of the night life. The best part of his show is having been to some of the places he spotlighted- like the Hellfire club.

Kivorn
09-05-2003, 11:19 PM
Not to bump an old topic but...
www.snopes.com/politics/s...lliams.asp (http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/williams.asp)

Came across that.

Boneskin
09-05-2003, 11:48 PM
best line from Dave Attel was something like:

"then i went into a blackout, or "time travel" as i like to call it"

i was laughing about that for days straight.

Dave Chappel (sp) is pretty funny but pound for pound ive got to give it to Robin Williams (at least the old school one before he became too fucked up in the head). I havent seen any of his stand up work lately so i cant comment.

Talari
09-06-2003, 07:08 AM
i liked when hes at the beer factory and he sees all this foamy substance on the floor and starts drinking it off the ground... the tour guide told him no thats not beer! (it was soap not pee :p )