HO HO HO!!!
Its that time of year again, and everyone's favorite gift giver is once again on the job. I've wracked my brain for weeks and weeks trying to find the best gifts for all the denizens of Ayonae.ro, and I dont think I will dissapoint! So, over the next three weeks I will unveil all my incredible gifts, specially picked for each lucky person. And please remember - giving is better than receiving, so loosen up those purse strings!

For Shewdogg -

http://www.phillychinatown.com/grocery_market/hungvuong/image/storefront200.jpghttp://www.phillychinatown.com/grocery_market/hungvuong/pic/shelf1.jpghttp://www.phillychinatown.com/grocery_market/hungvuong/pic/veg1.jpg

"1st Oriental Supermarket is the place where the care and satisfaction of our customers is our highest priority. We pledge to provide the finest personal service and products for our customers, who will always enjoy a warm, relaxed shopping atmosphere in our clean store.

Our range of food items is very extensive, from the familiar brands that you will recognize to the more exotic and interesting. We stock all the necessary kitchen utensils from pots and pans to a range of woks, in addition to the more basic items such as tea pots and cups, right down to a selection of chopsticks"

Thats right! I got you your very own asian grocery store - cause we all know if you're going to "r3prezinT d4 AzN", there are certain guidelines you will need to follow. I think this will get you off to an excellent, excellent start! And as always, Rice, Noodles, & Cigarettes not included in the weekly specials.

For Drakkon -

http://www.plus613.com/images/wind_chime.jpg

Yee haw! I think this pretty much speaks for itself...

For Taino -

http://www.bulletprooflove.com/images/260_new-04-vest.jpg

"This vest represents the latest in body armor technology. Fabricated from the most advanced and lightweight fibers available (six patents), it’s as strong as steel and as light as a feather. No longer does it have to feel like you're wearing a phonebook under your clothes to ensure your personal safety. Measuring aprroximately 0.20 inches thick, and with a 6 point adjustable strap system, this vest is extremely comfortable and will conceal under nearly any outergarment."

Soooooooo youre visiting the US? And New York of all places? Cesspool of humanity, storehouse for crime and victimization? Well, I'd hate to see anything happen to my favorite European, so just put this on and get to me in one piece! *snif!*

For Tierfin -

http://www.goldteeth.com/images/style-h-Lg.jpg

"Removable caps are an ingenious product we began marketing over 5 years ago. They are caps that actually fit over your existing teeth...both front and back. They look exactly like permanent caps, except you can take them out when you don't want to wear them."

Its not enough just to listen to the 'music' of hardcore g's like 50 cent and da gheto boys, you have to live tha life! And of course, you cant live the life if you don't look the part. So now, you can represent your hood in full effect. Hope you like them! (BTW I'm just guessing here, but I don't think they actually sparkle like that... buyer beware!)

Well thats all for now, but I promise I'll be handing out more gifts as time allows! Everyone give give give!!!!!

HO HO HO HO!!

Master Damoiel Mindbend
Retired Enchanter of the 60th Season

lmao!

Kevlar vest my ass. Taino needs to invest in some riot armor.

Toys and objects break and become boring over time, so whenever chosing christmas gifts for friends, unless I get them a bib or something as a joke gift, I usually like to give books.

For L2

<img border=0 src="http://a1055.g.akamai.net/f/1055/1401/5h/images.barnesandnoble.com/images/1110000/1119210.gif" />

'Basic English Grammar: Second Edition'

"Now in an all-new second edition, this worktext presents basic structures and vocabulary in a step-by-step building process, along with lots of opportunity for practice through varied exercises. Covers all basic English grammar structures and concepts through clear, concise charts and examples. For beginning-level ESL learners. "

I figure this would be the ultimate two edge sword for you, seeing as how your grammar and spelling are nearly flawless, with the one minor fact that even after 2 years of posting here, you still haven't grasped the concept of not hitting enter after every sentance. Your paragraph structure jumps around more then a Spanish couple making love.

For Palimax

<img border=0 src="http://a1055.g.akamai.net/f/1055/1401/5h/images.barnesandnoble.com/images/1060000/1067958.gif" />

'Know It All!'

"Now, in KNOW IT ALL!, Ed Zotti draws on this vast storehouse of knowledge to solve the mysteries that keep all of us up at night wondering...How do astronauts go to the bathroom in space?...Are cats color blind?...If somebody opened the emergecny exit on an airplane while it was in the air, would everybody on the plane be sucked out and killed?...and many, many more."

As the man with the answers, the Ayonae Ro community has come to look up to you in the general forum for the answers to all our most plexing questions. To see you stumped would tear our fragile little worlds apart, and in the odd case that you may not know the answer to a question such as, "How do I get rid of Crotch Rot?", hopefully this book will allow you to never cease dazzling us.

For Nydia

<img border=0 src="http://a1055.g.akamai.net/f/1055/1401/5h/images.barnesandnoble.com/images/7120000/7124926.gif" /> <img border=0 src="http://a1055.g.akamai.net/f/1055/1401/5h/images.barnesandnoble.com/images/1090000/1093226.gif" />

At first, I honestly didn't know which to get you! They both seemed so obvious when I picked them out. So, in true holiday spirit, I got you both!

'The GREGG Shorthand Manual Simplified'

I find myself often nodding off somewhere before chapter 13 of any of your posts and having failed to purchase the appendicies which I am sure are highly useful in disecting several of the sections of your almost epic poems, I figure we could....work with you in a sense, in that by shortening the preamble, buildup and character development in your posts, we could skip straight to the climax and find out that Dr. Jones is not Sarah's husband afterall.

'Cry Me A River'

As has been lately seen, your position as a loving, caring teacher has given you the giant flaming neon sign that blinks, "But what about the kids?" I'm not sure what the book may be about, but the title seemed oddly fitting.

Oh, and in case it wore out from overuse from last year, I got you a brand new one Gokuu.

<img border=0 src="http://images.jlist.com/c2/kittyvib5_small.gif" />

...good shit. :hat :smokin :hat

For Zehn:
http://a1055.g.akamai.net/f/1055/1401/5h/images.barnesandnoble.com/images/1070000/1076061.gif

Everyone on these forums, whether a generic troll or a board god, needs a little love to compensate for all the h8 going around. In your case, however, it's going to have to be self-love. Better make the most of it!

For our dear KMA

http://home.pacbell.net/hobbez/kma.jpg

For Taino

You know you want to (http://www.lawlersremovals.com/pdf-docs/moving_to_america.htm)

:evil

For Ogsil

http://www.personalarms.com/stunguns/SM500SB.gif

500,000 volts.

Now you can beat AND electrocute the inmates!

can i get a custom title of Lord of the Bling? please

Zehn, I'm touched. Ed Zlotto is Cecil Adam's editor. Ed's books are regarded mostly as "Straight Dope Light."

I already have the Straight Dope books:
http://https://securesite.chireader.com/images/tsdcover50.jpg
http://https://securesite.chireader.com/images/motsdcover50.jpg

You'll see the similar artwork.
In 1993 the marketing geniuses at Ballantine Books decided that a Straight Dope book for children might be just the thing to solve the American education crisis. Unfortunately, Cecil--who has no children of his own and in fact claims never to have been a child himself--refused to participate in the project, and Straight Dope cartoonist Slug Signorino was unable to obtain the requisite PG rating. So Cecil's long-suffering editor, Ed Zotti, stepped into the breach and created "Know It All," a wholesome kid-scale compendium of "The Fun Stuff You Never Learned in School," including...Interestingly enough, there's a "ED = CECIL" conspiracy.

http://www.ipass.net/whitetho/edcecil.htm

A FAQ about Cecil, if anyone cares.

http://www.straightdope.com/faq/officialfaq.html

Cecil Adams, however, is a pen-name owned by the Chicago Reader. There's clearly a writing-style change from the old Cecil articles to the new ones, but it's hard to tell if it's just 20 years that made the change, or if it's another author SMOOTHED to look like the original Cecil(s?) by Ed -- or if Ed himself is Cecil.

All sorta interesting.

Thanks for thinking of me.

*Note: Those links don't work outside the site -- damned smart webmasters, you'll have to try the direct link to the book page. https://securesite.chireader.com/cgi-bin/dopestore/buystuff.bat

Thank you very much Marzi. I shall return the favor of sending you this little trinket of fun.

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Resort/4364/gunar151.jpg

Your very own: Bushmaster XM15-E2S

Carefully driven to your door with a red bow. No californian should be with out.

Your very own: Bushmaster XM15-E2S

Looks like an M16 to me... :D

8o

For you Slant!!
http://i16.ebayimg.com/01/i/00/fb/bf/b9_1.JPGhttp://i14.ebayimg.com/01/i/00/fb/4e/c1_1.JPG
http://i18.ebayimg.com/01/i/00/fa/fb/0a_1.JPG
Self explanatory. ;)

For Mirdorr:
http://www.mountaindew.com/about_dew/images/big_about.jpg

For my Dearest Hubbe: Merry Christmas (http://lucy.fnord.net/spell.html?id=2517)

Hahaha good shit Slant :)

BTW guys, you aren't as clever, so leave this shit up to Slant or you'll kill a good joke quickly.

www.stud.ntnu.no/home/alexann/ (http://www.stud.ntnu.no/home/alexann/)

for my friend shew i know he likes them to jiggle

Just so you know, my Dew intake has really gone up lately. Dunno if it's 'cause it's December or what. The "alright, don't drink so much caffeine, dammit" theory is right out the window.

my gift to shewy would be a blow up doll...this way he doesn't have to waste time trying to figure out which girl to sleep with, he can have one everywhere he goes :D

My gift to Tierfin would have to be me beating up his brother for him, since he's kinda girly.

lmao!!!
Thanks guys ;)

I have no clue what Tierfin's history is or why he deserves this but...
http://www.goldteeth.com/images/style-h-Lg.jpg[/im]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That picture is friggen hilario

Weee, take 2 since Ima tard!
-----------------------------
I have no clue what Tierfin's history is or why he deserves this but...
http://www.goldteeth.com/images/style-h-Lg.jpg
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That image is friggen hilarious.

for the number 1 pimp on ayonae.ro

DAZZLER!!!
http://www.pimpdaddy.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/pd-hs-mv-p-l.png

and for on X-mass
http://www.pimpdaddy.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/pd-ph-vb-rz-lg.jpg

hehe, it's not an M16, its a mock version of an M4 A3, which is basically a shortend version of an M16, with a fully auto fire option designed for Special Forces in the Vietnam war! Unfortunatly, they suck *i've fired them* they arent very accurate over long distance, and they overheat really fast. I'd take an M16 anyday! :)

For Hubbe:

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/1567184812.02.MZZZZZZZ.jpg

Druid Magic: The Practice of Celtic Wisdom

:rollin

Stupid codes =/

hehe, it's not an M16, its a mock version of an M4 A3, which is basically a shortend version of an M16, with a fully auto fire option designed for Special Forces in the Vietnam war! Unfortunatly, they suck *i've fired them* they arent very accurate over long distance, and they overheat really fast. I'd take an M16 anyday!


wrong. it's an AR15. it's a civilain (not mock) version of an M16 and the only MECHANICAL difference is the lack of an automatic fire control system. firing an M16 in semi auto mode will heat it's barrel at the same rate as any AR15. an M16 fired in full auto mode will heat its barrel faster than any AR15 as they are not designed to fire automatically. i'd put money on any quality AR15 in a side by side accuracy evaluation between a military issue rifle and a civilain rifle. mil spec isn't good enough for what most civilains use their AR15s for. how long were you in the special forces in vietnam?

And for our friend KMA nothing but the best.

http://www.kotex.com/products/images/tampons/sctyreg.gif

Enjoy your holiday buddy.

plane tickets to sweden to you two so i can kick your asses!

Never said I 'was' in the special forces in Vietnam, for 1 thing, I'm only 22. I was however a Recon Scout / Sniper for the United States Marine Corp, and I garentee you, the picture is "not" an AR15. You can immedatly tell from the Frontside grip lenght compared to overall length. Like you said, the only difference primarily between an m16 and an Ar15 is fireoptions, but it's not Auto-fire, it's 3 shot burts fire (included on m16) not AR15. Yes, the m16 does heat up very rapidly when fired in burst fire continually, not Nearly as fast as the M4 however, nor does it jam as much as an m4.

www.mach30.net/john/gallery/CLE_AR15/aab (http://www.mach30.net/john/gallery/CLE_AR15/aab)

There's a pic of an AR15, notice the barrel and frontside grip length?

And yes, As far as auccuracy, the ar15 is comparible to the M16 at long distances, I myself could pick off a walking target from 600 yards no scope with an m16, I assume the same for an Ar15 , they are essentially the same weapon. My comment was about the M4 ... Please, next time you want to try to make someone look stupid, try not to screw yourself in the process.

Ok idiots. this is exactly what the Bushmaster is.


Colt AR-15 clone that's built post-ban M4 style with a 16 inch (1:9 twist) multi-ported HBAR. This rifle is very fast to reacquire a target because of moderate recoil, with the full sized buttstock there is not the slightest bit of bounce that is often felt while shooting smaller versions. Extremely accurate out to a range of about 500 yards

>snicker<

yer a moron and should stop making yourself look worse by continuing to post. i could post a hudred pictures of AR15's outfitted to look EXACTLY like an M16. There are literally hundreds of different configurations of rifles based on the civilain version of the military M16 receiver. it's the receiver and its option, or lack of, a full auto sear and selector that distinguishes it from an AR15. the handgaurd is irrelevant. you are arguing that a safari arms trophymaster or a para ordnance P14 isn't a 1911A1. they are! if you put a pink stock on an AR15 receiver does it stop being an AR15?

you're arguing cosmetics and marketing and your comments about both rifles are ridiculous. any component on an M16 ( or M4 ) is available on an AR15. except the sears and selectors. barrel length and to some extent barel material will contribute to its heating and cooling properties. so sweeping generalizations like yours show lack of experience and limited education. i will gaurantee you that a 20 inch fat barreled AR15 will experience much less "over heating" problems then a CAR15. does that mean all AR15s experience less barrel heating? fucking no! it's as ignorant as your comments in your first post. they are the same fucking gun. an AR15 IS a semi automatic version of an M16 ( or M4 ) so your experience with a couple rifles and the conclusions you jump to are wortless.

that whole "i was in the military, i know about guns!" attitude is hilarious when its followed by the ignorance you spout.

PS: three round burst IS automatic fire.

Karl Gustav pwns your rifles!

I seriously hopr your not speaking to me in that tone of voice. That description was taken DIRECTLY from the collection website. Besides your only 13 what do you know?

this is a damn cristmass thread, normally its fun to read each year... lets keep it that way and take your boaring bitching to nother thread....

and on that note POST MORE GIFTS!!!

I seriously hopr your not speaking to me in that tone of voice. That description was taken DIRECTLY from the collection website. Besides your only 13 what do you know?

is it your opinion that AR15's suck compared to M16's? if it is then yer moron. if it isn't then you just wasted my time. 13? whatever pops. go back to tryin to control people you actually have a chance of controlling. granted yer armed and they are usually handcuffed but whatever floats yer boat fat man.

thanks for the concern kaleader. i'll make sure i file that under "people i dont give a fuck about" in triplicate.

Dear Zehn:

Thanks *so* much for the thoughtful presents! My party-mates were just wondering aloud last night whether I'd gotten around to reading them yet... :P

And in the spirit-of-giving, and in the hopes of getting this thread back on the right track, I'd like to give the following to KMA1234:

www.kittenstoyroom.com/pr...g2303.html (http://www.kittenstoyroom.com/products/gags/ballgag2303.html)

It was a tough call between that and the anal plug, but I figured that either would serve the same purpose, really... :)

Warm regards,
Nydia Ywalmoriel
Autonomous Collective

LOL!!

Ok, ill only de-rail this thread one last time so that I may educate our young ignorant brother KMA. The only place weapons are allowed are OUTSIDE of the prison facility (i.e... the towers or in the perimeter vehicles). Inside we hang out with 1000 convicts (including your father im sure) with out any weapons. So if shit goes bad we are on our own. No AR's, no weapons. In general population they are free to walk around. There. Like GI Joe says "knowledge is half the battle". Don't you feel a little smarter now? Besides it was not I that implied a AR-15 was better then and 16.

And as a stocking stuffer I give you your very own pair of big boy diapers just for your whinny cry baby ass.

http://store1.yimg.com/I/dpf_1724_110019

Their is a website that mails out free adult diaper samples. I was mailing them to people here at work, and they would get pissed after opening it up.

3 round burst is NOT auto...you want auto try the M16 A1. There is a reason on the selctor switch it says safe, semi and burst

In California, 3 round burst IS considered automatic.

3 round burst certainly is automatic fire. if the sear doesn't reset and force you to release the trigger to fire the next round, it's automatic fire no matter how many rounds you fire in a row. if you don't have a class 3 license and you get caught with a rifle or pistol that has the capability to fire more than one shot per trigger pull you WILL be going to jail.

you go on with yer bad self Os. thanks for the education. i owe you a nickle.


i'm willing to invest in a good set of ear plugs for your husband, Nydia, and Jack Kevorkian's business card stapled to a gift certificate for you. happy kwanza.

http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

their you are KMA, dont worry about sharing. I think we would all be happy if you just keep it to yourself... mary x-mass

Merry Christmas Osgiliath666!

Here is a gift for your parents:

The Successful Child: What Parents Can Do to Help Kids Turn Out Well
by William and Martha Sears

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0316777498.01._PE30_PIdp-schmooS,TopRight,7,-26_SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Here is a gift for you:

Dry All Night : The Picture Book Technique That Stops Bedwetting
by Alison Mack, David Wilensky.

http://www.bedwettingstore.com/images/Items/dryallnight.gif

Arisensun:

I bought some things for your family:

For your mom a nice T-shirt
http://prodtn.cafepress.com/9/4290319_F_tn.jpg

This is self explanitory
http://prodtn.cafepress.com/0/5219220_F_tn.jpg

And finally for you
http://prodtn.cafepress.com/2/4290072_F_tn.jpg

I just love giving clothes for the holidays.

Ahhh, can't I keep the slut T-shirt for myself?

Slant - Coors? Please, I make enough money to buy good beer. Make those Milller Lite cans and maybe I will hang it up. Heh heh heh.