Are there any attorneys on this board who are licensed to practice in NC? And more to the point, do you do any family law? If not, can you please provide me with the name of someone who does?

I am embroiled in more family drama with NC and this time I'm going for full custody of my niece.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

My girlfriend's mother and my roomate are both lawyers in Virginia. I imagine one of them might know someone in NC, you're only a state away.

I'm going for full custody of my niece.

be prepared for a long haul, if its not parents or gparents it takes a little longer.

Sounds like things are heating up in NC, Fild. Hope it all works out for the best.

I can't give you any names, but I can give you kind words! I wish you the best and good luck on your fight :) ;)

Go for it mate. My other half is practising family law, but of course it's English Common Law. Nonetheless they are obviously similar, so we can offer you the basic advise if you need it mate :)

Definitely consult with a good NC lawyer. The laws are night and day from state to state, and the differences are crucially important.

Make sure they're local to the specific superior court you'll be in. A mediocre lawyer who has been practicing domestic law in the specific circuit that you're dealing with will trump all but the best out of town attorneys.

The NC Bar Association should be happy help you find a good one meeting whatever criteria you specify.

Sorry to hear that the doo-doo is hitting the fan there, Fild :/. Hopefully you are able to find a good lawyer (and an unprejudiced court) and get your poor niece into a safe situation...

I'd have to think that, given the history of drug (and other) abuse that's been involved in this situation, you would get a sympathetic ear even though you aren't a first-degree relative - I'll keep you guys in my thoughts.

Regards,
Nydia

Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. I've actually made allot of progress since I posted this in severe frustration. Even though there is history of drug abuse and all kinds of other crap my mother who has sided with him has made it clear all stops will be pulled out b/c she hates my gf. Like me having guardianship for 3yrs was ok, but now that I'm putting my brother out for the druggie he is is not ok. Yeah, it's a long haul and yes I just put a wedge in my family but I'm not going to let him ruin my niece's life b/c my mom thinks he's innocent.

Am pulling for ya', Fil. Keeping you all in my thoughts.

Fildien, give me a call at your convenience and we can chat some. The process for you is going to be complex, but not impossible.

My mother's cousin Carl and his "partner" David have a family practice in Philadelphia, PA that caters to homosexual couples (though thats obviously not all they deal with) and they would be happy to discuss with you. Legally there isn't much, if anything, you can do at this point - until North Carolina finds your brother unfit to be a parent. You will need to basically notify North Carolina's Department of Family and Protective Services of what you feel is wrong and supply them with evidence, if possible (else they can do a home visit). If there is criminal charges, that will obviously help. Carl obviously will be able to explain this better, and since he's somewhat local you might even be able to meet up with him.

Then, when the time comes, Carl or NC Protective Services will be able to refer you to someone great in North Carolina.

My number: Chad 240-997-6357

Well after talking to an attorney here I am learning that under NC law she may not even be a NC resident yet and still a resident of PA. She's only been down there since April. Which considering my mom knows every person within 4 counties of my home town would probably benefit me greatly, not to mention she's heavily affiliated with the democratic party for my county and used hold some position there. It's going to be icky.

Kasey doesn't want to be there she's 16 and I was under the impression that she could make up her mind where she wants to live. Unfortunately that's not entirely accurate =\

The attorney down there is going to call me back on Thursday and discuss the case further. The problem with using him is that my mom is a client of his, in fact I've found that my mom has apparently through the years used MOST of the frigging attorneys in WNC so I'm going to try Asheville surely she hasn't made it that far yet :p The parties involved however are me and my brother yet my mom is obviously involved since she enables the dirtbag to be a social misfit.

The attorney there told me I definitely had a case. But, that under NC law I have prove that... it's not just that I can do a better job than him but that he's doing a shitty job for the welbeing of the child. Which is pretty easy since a) he has no job b) just got out of jail for drugs and has pending charges and c) pawned her off on me for 3 years anyway. My mom is pissed and she made it abundantly clear she'd play the lesbo card with me but at this point I dont' care and I told the attorney if the case isn't winnable that I will contact DSS to report him and I will do it over and over and over again. I'm tired of this bullshit and I'm tired of my mom allowing my brother to be a fuck-up. I whole heartedly belive my brother is a danger to the well being to my mother and niece.

You say to call you, yet I don't have your contact info. toss me your number to kbunn@comcast.net

I edited it, sorry :)

If you hire someone a) out of town and b) from a larger town like Asheville, you're really throwing your money away. Especially in smaller towns, Superior court judges are awfully prejudiced against outsiders when it comes to subjective things in their back yard (like domestic).

Fild, if she is 16, she may be able to be legally emancipated (declared an adult for many purposes), and then would be able to make her own decisions about where she wished to live. This would be a process that *she* would have to initiate, however, and she would have to testify that this was what she wanted to do and provide evidence (frequently in the form of a psychological evaluation, as well as a basic 'how am I going to live?' plan) to the effect that she was ready to function as an adult.

I found a forum on the topic here, with a link to the North Carolina Emancipation statutes:

http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4430

Hope that is of some use to you - if you're facing serious prejudice over the sexual orientation issue this may be another way to approach the issue so that her wishes/needs are served.

Regards,
Nydia

Thanks for the link Nydia however with me here and her there and with no one to help her with that process I have no idea how she'd go about it. Especially since our communication is now being limited to and from her. She can only talk to her friends while at school, etc. He's being a major to her, b/c she's been telling folks she doesn't want to be there or him around her.

Also she hasn't been a resident for 6 months yet, it will be 6 months next month. I'm going to call Kelraz's friend this week and get thier input.


Sanchek, you are very correct in your statement about Superior courts I have a friend who is an attorney for the tribe back home and she informed me of the same thing. I am leaning on her heavily for help and wish she could help me but she does employment law for the tribe and has nothing to do with the state of NC since the reservation is federal (it's very weird). Anyway, I have ilterally called 4 firms today, all of which have told me it would be a conflict of interest with my mom or my brother. There are only so many family law attorneys in my area this is frigging nuts!

So, the plot thickens :(

Being 16 she has about 75% say in who she wants to live with, and as far as I can tell from here and also in conversing with Leah you should have no problem with showing that both of you are excellent role models for her and will make a great home and family environment for her.

Possession is 9/10 of the law and if she comes for a visit she can simply decide to not go back and a good family lawyer should be able to make things work out on your side.

If by possession, you mean kidnapping.

My number: Chad 240-997-6357

I see some late night drunk dialing in my future...

If by possession, you mean kidnapping.

It's how my brother got custody in the first place, sort of.

He knew her mom for 4 days before he decided he wanted to marry her. So they drove to Gatlinburg and got "married" I quote that b/c they never followed thru with some Tn. law about that type of marriage so they were never really married. Fast forward 10months and out pops my niece. My brother later learns my niece's mother has tried to kill herself on numerous occassions, has been institutionalized multiple times, and is essentially batshit crazy. It takes hime 2yrs to realize he can't handle this anymore so one night he loads my niece up and drives from Fla to NC. Once there my family (yes even me) help him get custody, her mother tried to sue for kidnapping but that didn't work out very well when all the story came to light. We all think he's doing the right thing and wow look how grown up he is being worried about my niece.

That lasted 4 years until he started down a path laiden with drugs that he hasn't emerged from. And here we are today.

It is a seriously fucked up family I have. If only it ended with just my immediate family but it doesn't. I don't know if it's the indian blood or just the hillybilly blood or the lethal mix of the two.... for perspective Deliverance was filmed 1 county over from my hometown. Mix an area like that with drugs and it's bound to be nasty. I knew my only way out was to get a scholarship and go to college which is exactly what I did and I have not ever looked back since the day I kissed mom good bye. For years I thought everyone's family was like mine, it was until I did get away from there that I realized no, everyone's family is NOT like mine. And actually my immediate family is no where near as screwed as my aunts, uncles and cousins are... srsly. If I only had the energy or desire to either write about it seriously or do stand up comedy.... I think it either be enlightening or full of comedic relief. The joke with my friends is "you just can't make this shit up".

So, this is my life. I'm beyond caring about my idenity or who may read about my life. It's too amazing to not share and sometimes I feel desensitized to it and wonder if it's me who is crazy for thinking they are crazy. Not to mention venting is theraputic for me if I held this shit in I'd probably be an addict. /bangs head on desk

Anyway, I appreciate the input. And I also appreciate having a place to vent as well. Maybe I should blog or something...

I see some late night drunk dialing in my future...

Don't call too late, or you'll just wake up my phone service people.

If by possession, you mean kidnapping.

If it was a 3 year old it would be a case of kidnapping, but we're talking about a 16 year old that in many states can get in a car and drive. There really is no court that is going to ignore the desire of the 16 year old in a case like this with the people involved.

Unless the other side has decent representation, which it sounds like they're able to acquire. That would end badly for Fil, 99 times out of 100.

If the 16 year old claims that she came to fil, and had to get away from a horrible abusive home to another family member, there is no court that will touch Fil.

You have to leave common sense out of the equation when thinking about these things. The stories I hear from my girlfriend's time in superior court are hard to believe sometimes.

Unfortunately Sanchek is correct.

I come from an area where knowing someone means everything. It's less than 10k people and while my brother may be a fuck-up my mom most certainly has ties and influence from her younger days. My mother is almost 73 and is aging. She has no realy financial help except from her children and what ever she can get from SS or HUD for housing. Having my niece she is able to get foodstamps and a higher housing benefit. It is a sad truth but this is how places like this operate, and it's how most of my family save a few of us live... ie... thinking the gov't or someone else will always be there to bail you out.

The mentality comes from being on the reservation where b/c of your heritage you get everything for free. Many folks feel they are just as deserving b/c they live near it.

Now throw in the fact that I am a woman, I am gay, and I live outside in a Northern town and you get a mix of all sorts of opinions from the good ole southern boys.

My mom doesn't want to be alone, she doesn't want to have to go into a home, and she doesn' want to live out of the area. My oldest brother travels allot with his job and he's fed up with the mess and the fact my mom only calls him for money. My sister moved to PA just down the road from me, she's struggling herself having only just made a move from the area for the first time in her life, and me? I'm the youngest in the family and have always been the one who tries to get everyone to get along and help who ever I could. I've taken in both my sister's kid and my screw-up brother's kid and my mom. I have been tremendously affected by the events of my hometown the past 2 months between my brother's arrests and my friend being murdered to numerous friends being arrested for drugs. I don't want my niece around the drugs nor do I want my mom around them.

In any event I am still searching for someone in that area to represent me. It's not that my mom has an attorney for this it's that she's been involved in so much shit through out the years between her numerous divorces, her class action suit for a car she and several other elderly women were duped into buying, etc, etc, etc, it's really crazy. The attorney I spoke to, my sister says is the one doing her class action suit. So this is just whacky.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family, eh Fild?

Kelraz --

Thank you for the number. Your cousin called me and we talked for a while. He told me about the PA laws and some ideas that could help Kasey. She's 16 so she can file emancipation but it has to be in the state in which she's lived the last 6 months. We're in limbo at this point, if I file I now it will be handled via York County PA. If I wait till October 13th it will be handled through NC.

He told me how to get an attorney here and stressed the finding someone local down there bit b/c of judges knowing the attorneys for family law. An outsider will not bode well in any family law court let alone a small town.

He said, if possible if she could get on a bus and come to me or get to me in some way we could petition once she arrives and I'd have a better shot. Regardless she can emancipate herself in NC but will need help doing so. There's no way I can get legal custody of her but I can get physical custody, it's an uphill battle for sure.

Nice guy, ty :)

Your stories are entertaining. (and crazy :()

City life 4tw

He's great, glad he could help. Let me know if there's anything else we can do.

I really detest seeing people having to deal with these kinds of situations, seeing I have a couple of looney toon sisters (one was going to have her breasts removed, so she could 'win' back a boyfriend with the cancer sympathy card).

BUT, I am really feeling like my batteries are being recharged, seeing how people are so quick to try to help one another. That is the real essence of this board, regardless of the bickering and nit-picking and name-calling and what not; this is a community.

Thanks Rybit and Sanchek, and everyone, for letting me take part in it.


I am glad to see you are getting some good legal info, Fil. Hopefully this will be resolved in a way most favorable to the future of your niece.

Well said Byl, and best of luck Fild.

well it may yet get resolved without attorneys or courts. I had a fruitful chat with dear old mom tonight. She realizes just how serious and how far I am willing to go and said she's going to try to help get this fixed for kaseys benefit. So, we shall see.

Yes, this place is a good sounding board full of good advice and sometimes humorous advice I definitely appreaciate it and it's members :)

Yeah, sometimes people on this board actually have good ideas....:eek:

Hope it gets all worked out for you Fild. I know that girl needs someone in her life that she can use as a role model, and doesn't see her as a meal ticket as well.

I do know from first hand experience Family Court proceedings are a sticky wicket to get involved in.

Insofar as the "family stories", I think I have a few that might top what I've read here, to include a cousin who claimed to be in the Pentagon working as a contractor when it was hit on September 11th. If she could get security clearance to work in the Pentagon, then I'm a monkey's Uncle...

If I included stories about my cousins, uncles and aunts I'd be typing for days. One rather poignant redneck story... one Christmas Eve my uncle and his son spent the holiday in the ICU together for stabbing wounds they had inflicted on ..... each other over a poker game.


Recently (June'ish/July'ish) my first cousin's abusive husband beat the hell out of her when she filed for divorce b/c he's abusive and an addict. He found her and beat her extremely bad and she's pregnant with thier 3rd child. My uncle found him some time later, yanked him from his truck and beat him with a shovel and stomped him with his boots. The husband went home to get a gun to go shoot my uncle and cousin.... his dad tried to intervene, there was a struggle and he shot his dad in the stomach. He is currently in some high security mental place in NC b/c when he woke from his meth stupor and realized what he had done he went apeshit in the jail house back home. He ripped the toilet and sink from the floor of his cell and threw it at the bars and then tried to cut himself all over with the bits of the wreckage. I try keep most of my "stories" to my immediate family... it's just too freaky otherwise. Yet, my mother wonders why me and my brother and sister want nothing to do with that place or my meth addicted brother/family. Meth is not just an illegal drug that is bad, meth makes most everything else seem like milk and cookies.

Wow, Fild, I could almost hear the banjos a-pickin....

Fild wins over me .....

You are the real Survivor Fild; screw that stoopid TV show!

Not really, this crap only started in recent years. When I was growing up there all you had to worry about were drunk indians and rednecks. I'll take a drunkard over a meth-head any day.

On a different front a friend who works in law enforcement down there was kind enough to point me a place I can pull criminal records for the state. I did so at their nudge b/c my brother's record is looooooong. I pulled it up and found 21 counts in 5 NC counties. Theses aren't traffic violations either. Was quite interesting for sure.

Nonetheless the drama is simmering down for the moment :) Thanks all for the help and advice. This weekend should tell allot about the future.

Good luck Fild, I hope the process gets a lot easier for you and no one involved puts up any fire walls.

Cheers,