I have this constant nagging problem at work.

One of our staff members is a Macintosh zealot. The "mac evanglist" type who would take a bullet for Steve Jobs. He LOVES to start the mac vs. pc debate with anyone he can, and seems to thrive off of it.

Normally I avoid this guy, but a few times a week I run into him and get dragged into debates such as "why iPhoto is better than Photoshop because its less complicated" or "Why don't PCs have any software like final cut pro" or how "the iPod was the first good mp3 player".

As annoying as this shit is, I can usually deal with it, but lately he has found a new way to annoy me. Email.

After sorting through my normal 150 emails of viruses and spam, I come across his message titled "Why Apple is better". Inside is a link to Apples own website hyping up some bullshit school in middle america with a IT budget of like 10 million dollars. Of course they are going to suck Apples cock if they have that type of money.

He also loves to hand me this stupid ass communist news paper his friend publishes and explain to me how I am brainwashed by the main stream media. (Hypocrisy? www.apple.com/appleisthebestateverything! stfu!)

I have told him many times to not waste his or my time with these lame ass debates, and also gone to my boss a couple times to explain that it is a constant annoyance and is counter-productive. No one seems to do anything, and I have no solutions in sight.

Anyone else have a co-worker from hell like this? And how do you deal with 'em?

Ask them what games they play.

Then they walk home in shame.

Tell him that you agree with him wholeheartedly, but have a friend who needs convincing. Then refer him to Amplifyre...

Hand him the copy of your policy on harassment.

Tell him the next copy goes to his boss and your local HR manager.

Stick a can of shaving creme in the freezer before you go to bed.

Take it to work with you the next day, with a can opener.

When you get there, open the bottom of the can with the can opener.

Place the now opened can in the bottom drawer of his desk.

3 hours later, hilarity ensues.

Oh, another good one.

set his homepage to this. Don't click it if you don't want to be taunted by a sodding internet explorer window.

Hold Alt and tap f4 to close the window that will mame you once you click here (http://www.originalicons.com/smile.html)

1. Install the latest PC first person shooter on your PC and everyone else's PC. Also procure good speakers for everyone's PC (I've often found Mac losers have good sound so they can hear their piece of crap chime when it hangs, so take those). Around, I dunno, 4pm (or earlier, depending on how people react) start some 10 person deathmatches while everyone's volume is all the way up. Look at him and laugh.

2. Set up a machine to do a DoS attack on his box every 60 minutes or so. Linux boxes are great for this.

3. How does your network guy feel about Macs? Have him move the guy to a separate network that can't route to anything else, then tell the guy "I'm sorry, ******alk is too chatty and we can't let it bring the production network down."

edit: Weird, some text was replaced with asterisks.

17. Ask him if you can have his machine to make a Macquarium.

18. Don't forget to dig an old PC and a monochrome monitor out of the trash and leave them on this desk. Throw on an old price tag that says something like "$250." Tell him management thought he'd be more productive with this new machine.

No one - friends, relatives, coworkers - sends me stupid forwards anymore. Usually if someone sends me any sort of junk email I hit that nifty "Reply to All" key (or equivalent) and reduce their newest scam on Bill Gates giving out free money or some kid in Africa with cancer to shreds. By the time all their friends have read my email pointing out the logical fallicies in the original as well as the commentary on wasting internet bandwidth, they typically leave me alone. That work for you?

Alternatively, mess up his mac somehow, and laugh as he can't get into the system to fix it. Then pick it up and brain him in the head with it.

Or a combination of Amhorach and Willgatus' ideas.


-Kanyli

show him some links

www.macworld.co.uk/news/m...ewsID=7045 (http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=7045)

www.pcworld.com/news/arti...g,1,00.asp (http://www.pcworld.com/news/article/0,aid,112749,pg,1,00.asp)

I am the network guy. (Don't get me started on A_ppletalk)

I LOVE the DDOS idea mirrdor! I am going to bring his shitty powerbook to a crawl, and tell him to take it to the Apple store's gay assed tech support bar thing so they can look at it.

I already emailed him back with a rather pointed letter exposing many of Apples flaws. Hopefully he shuts the hell up and goes back to annoying people with his damn commie magazines.

Simply retort,

"Microsoft has an eighty percent market share. We own you!"

Or a quick and dirty fix would be a bullet to the base of his skull. Whatever works for you.

I did like the, "What games do you play comment though?"

lates

Bashing or Advocating either formats pretty dumb, they're both good.

and saying macs have no games is pretty silly...almost any game worth playing gets ported to mac during development these days.

As for how to deal with him, dunno, kick his ass I say.

Tell him that you agree with him wholeheartedly, but have a friend who needs convincing. Then refer him to Amplifyre...

:rollin Now this is a good idea.

If you are the network guy, the possibilities open up like the sky.

1. Randomly turn his port on and off.
2. Stick an ACL on his router that doesn't let him talk to certain servers.
3. Redirect his httptraffic to a proxy. Set up rules on the proxy that redirect his favorite websites to, I dunno, whitehouse.com.
4. Set up QoS rules giving him approximately 68k of bandwidth(in honor of 68000 processors). Then repeatedly show him that your PC can download porn faster than you can click links. Make comments like "Damn, remember those idiotic Kalpana switches that would do 10mb FULL duplex for Macs? Hah. PC's went right to 100/half!"
5. Randomly set his port to various duplex settings.

If he's the network administrator, doing most of those things will only make him have to deal with the moron more frequently...

BUY A TAZER!

I'm just going to have his port turn on and off. We're having some new cable run and I will just blame it on that and tell him to ride it out.

He's now really agitated because I compared his blind following of Apple to Fox News being "fair and balanced" in the email. Hahaha.

Or do what I did and get the guy fired.

Reply to his E-mails with Goat pr0n!!1!

have to deal with the moron more frequently...

That's the beauty of it. It's quite easy to show him that other PC's work fine - so it much be the Mac.

punch his fucking face in then say hey man, go choke on a fucking dick before i fucking punch your fucking face in again you fucking fucker.

After reading this.. I just have one question... What is a fucking fucker? How do you fuck a fucking? What is a fucking anyways? Fuck!

Master Damoiel Mindbend
Retired Enchanter of the 60th Season

I think in the usage of fucking fucker, fucking is not a verb but an adjective. So you're not a -fucking- fucker, you're a fucking -fucker-. *nods*

Wait Im confused.. I read it as Fucking (noun) Fucker (adjective), not as Fucking (adjective) Fucker (noun?)... In other words, you're fucking a 'Fucking', or you fucked a 'Fucking', or you want to fuck a 'Fucking'.

Heh.. took me way too long to figure out the parts of speech on this.. Fuck.

Master Damoiel Mindbend
Retired Enchanter of the 60th Season

No shit eh? Fuck man.

What the fuck is this fucking bullshit you fucks are fucking talking the fuck about?

after reading this i get the impression that one of the following happened::

1) some 12 year old hax0red shewdogg (obviously not what happened)

2) shewdogg is a retard

3) shewdogg smoked himself stupid

the best thing to fuck with someone hard is to play with quickcrete.

get coffee can get a bunch of things that belong to him, then make some quick crete up jab all things on to it then put it back on his desk. then watch as he takes it out side and bangs in on the ground trying to get his things back lol..


did it to a guys house one time..... just got some ply wood, and just ran up to his house and coverted most of his window with the wood leaving a gap at the top, then shoveled some quick crete in, let it sit a hour and run back over and take the wood off, now you have a new rock window to look out.


then watched as he was out side with a screw driver trying to pry it off with out breaking his window, take pictures of him doing it, write HAHAHAHAH all over them and put them in his mail box for like a month.

Dont do anything illegal or that will get you fired, ya gotta be cruel to be kind tho!

Take the mouthpiece out of his phone. Call him, repeatedly...

Remove 1 small item a day from his desk without his knowledge. Replace them with similar but worse items after a week or so. Rearrange contents.

Shrinkwrap or duct tape his cube. Consider police style yellow 'do not cross' tape.

Kad

did it to a guys house one time

Right. And I'm sure he didn't shoot you or sleep with your wife after that.

The mayhem continues!

Thank god for Apple Remote Desktop.

I made his homepage one of those pages that pops up like 5 million windows.

Like a good little mac user he doesn't know how to kill a process. This should keep him busy for a while.

Ooo, nice one Marz!

You seriously should have bashed his fucking face in.

Yeah.

Being unemployed with possible assault charges is a lot better than having an annoying co-worker.

It can be a tough situation.. But on eof my all time favorites...

Crazy Glue..

The Mouse, Pens, Coffee cups, phone...:D

It has been said that it is more difficult for a mac user to learn windows than a windows user to learn mac.

Mac users say it's because macintosh's have an easier to use interface. PC users say it's because Macintosh users are morons.

It has been said that it is more difficult for a mac user to learn windows than a windows user to learn mac.

Mac users say it's because macintosh's have an easier to use interface. PC users say it's because Macintosh users are morons


Far as I've seen this is true, my friends boyfriend finally decided to get a pc after using macs all his life.

Its been 2 years now and hes finally up to speed.
Constant barrages of questions, which typically ended with "Wtf, that doesn't make sense"

On other-hand, It took me all of a week or less to adjust to the OSX interface after using PCs all my life when I just got my g5 recently.


I'll hardly espouse either platform as I use both, but I'll give reason why I decided to buy a mac.

D-LINK USB Bluetooth adapter instruction manual.

22 pages on how to configure it for Windows 2k/xp

For MacOSx a footnote:

"Insert the adapter into a free USB port, Installation is now complete"


I've seen tons of the "dumbed down" comments about macs..WHY is that bad?

Spending hours configuring a device is hardly my idea of fun.

For most mac hardware/software, I plug it in, it works, I can go on with my life.

You call it "dumbed down"

I Just say my time is valuable, and that is thier major selling point.