*lifts up his skirt*

But now for the REALLY funny stuff..

www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html (http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html)

Scroll down after and look at my personal favourite.. The Matrix one :P

Glands that produce arrows, lol that rocks.

7 and 9 are so fucking funny

I sprayed my cereal over the monitor when reading The Matrix one..

'So we find out Neo was able to defeat the sentinels in Reloaded through a vague kind of telekinesis (you should have known, from the well-bent spoon handed to Neo by his young stalker in Zion). That would be fine, except there is no such thing as telekinesis. Here's proof: try to bend a nearby object with your mind.
See? You can't. Now try to shut down the nearest robot using the same method. Simply impossible. '

'You've worked as a policeman your whole life, protecting the innocent, enforcing the law. You retire with honors, then take a job as a security guard, working the metal detector on the ground floor of a skyscraper in order to help pay for your wife's arthritis medication. You're sitting there, on a slow day, reading your newspaper, when a girl walks in wearing a trenchcoat. She issues no demands, no warnings, no "freeze" or "drop your gun." She just tears you in half with a spray of machine-gun fire, then does cartwheels along the walls while killing all your friends.
Somewhere, faintly, you can hear a theater audience cheering.'

And finally..

'You are a hard-working single mother, making ends meet by doing time as a secretary in an office building during the day, a drug-store clerk in the evenings. You are on the office phone with the babysitter one quiet Wednesday afternoon, telling her how to calm little Dakota down, to get her to stop crying her eyes out asking why Mommy is never home, telling her that you'll be there soon, honey.
A split-second later your head is severed by a shattered helicopter rotor blade, the skull bouncing off a nearby wall, leaving a spray of arterial blood on a motivational poster. Your eyes bulge wide, your brain inside remaining alive just long enough to recognize the horror of your fate. Aviation fuel splashes in through the shattered windows and ignites, incinerating mothers, husbands, fathers, best friends.
And somewhere, a theater full of young, chubby males cheers because Trinity made it out before the crash. '

- Pure gold.

the 50 reasons why lord of the rings sucks....

sucked.

why debate physics when you're dealing with demons, magic, etc in a story.

complaining about the violence? whoah, this dude blows.

*woosh* straight over your head.

It's supposed to be a joke mate. Slightly Pratchett, slightly Python.
It's cheeky humour.

until i read #7 i was thinking he was really bashing lotr, but that was just plain funny, the matrix one ruled as well

The machines added two new enemies for Neo in Reloaded, called the Twins. Their first priority is to blend discreetly into the simulated world of the Matrix, to walk among the people unnoticed. So of course the Matrix made them huge albino men with bleach-white dreadlocks who occasionally transform into shrieking wraiths.

"What's that, honey?"

"Oh, nothing. It just looks like a Kung-Fu Swedish Rastafarian Helldemon. I'm sure there's no need to question our fragile, sheltered grasp of 'reality' as we know it."

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Good god that is funny.

I'm still laughing.

My personal favourite, beyond all doubt..

'The cybernetic army that took over the Earth, says the film, was solar powered. The human resistance responded by blotting out the sky.

A desperate measure, but surely the only choice they had. It was that, or, I don't know, postpone their counterattack until evening'

- BWHAHAHA!

thank god, I took this as one of a million retard monkeys with a keyboard. Glad it's jsut me