Lleauric
09-10-2005, 05:41 PM
Marilyn Mansons Rules on being a homosexual.
1) If you get someone else's sperm on you.
2) If you've ever owned a Smiths album.
3) If you get hard while sucking another guy's dick. If you don't, you're straight - unless he gets sperm on you.
4) If Michael Stipe is in the room with you and you're having sex with a woman, you're bisexual.
5) If you're at a gay bar, you are not gay, but if you're at a straight bar and talk to another guy longer than you talk to a girl, you are gay.
6) If you tap your feet to a Smiths song.
7) If you discuss art for more than 45 minutes.
8) If you've ever worn a beret.
9) If you kiss a guy and he has a hard-on, you're not gay - unless you have a hard-on too.
10) If you have any kind of sex, with male or female, to the Smiths, you're gay.
11) If your only purpose in life is to get girls pregnant so they can have more girls to have lesbian sex together.
12) If you jack off and get cum on yourself.
13) If you get a boner watching Gilligans Island.
14) If you don't get a boner watching bewitched.
15) If there's a Smith song on in a bar, and you are in the bathroom with your dick in your hand.
16) If your name is Richard and you go by Dick.
17) if you're friends with anyone named Dick.
18) If you don't cheat on your wife, you're only using her as a prop to make people think you are not gay.
19) If you are friends with a model.
20) If you fuck a girl who likes the Smiths
21) If you don't eat meat because the Smith's album Meat is Murder had an impact on your life.
22) If you do anything spiritual.
23) If you fuck a pregnant woman and she is carrying a boy, you're gay. If you get sperm on the amniotic sac, the baby will grow up to be gay too.
24) If you have ever had a haircut like Morrisey.
25) If you have ever had a haircut when a Smiths or Morrisey album was playing in the room.
26) If you've ever talked about or owned a crystal, especially of it's crystal meth.
27) If you've ever put band aids on your nipples as a fshion statement.
28) If you've spent more than a week on South Beach.
29) If you're not thinking about tits right now.
30) If you still liked Judas Priest after the rumour that Rob Halford was gay.
31) If you get a hard-on while taking a shit.
32) If you know what sperm tastes like (especially if it's your own)
33) If you kiss a girl with tongue after she'd swallowed your cum.
34) If you get hard when reading this.
35) If you know the names of anyone who's ever been in the Smiths, besides Morrissey and Johnny Marr.
36) If you're a male model.
37) If you get choked up listening to Boys Don't Cry, by the Cure.
38) If you're a clothing designer.
39) If your first, last, middle or only name is Morrissey.
1) If you get someone else's sperm on you.
2) If you've ever owned a Smiths album.
3) If you get hard while sucking another guy's dick. If you don't, you're straight - unless he gets sperm on you.
4) If Michael Stipe is in the room with you and you're having sex with a woman, you're bisexual.
5) If you're at a gay bar, you are not gay, but if you're at a straight bar and talk to another guy longer than you talk to a girl, you are gay.
6) If you tap your feet to a Smiths song.
7) If you discuss art for more than 45 minutes.
8) If you've ever worn a beret.
9) If you kiss a guy and he has a hard-on, you're not gay - unless you have a hard-on too.
10) If you have any kind of sex, with male or female, to the Smiths, you're gay.
11) If your only purpose in life is to get girls pregnant so they can have more girls to have lesbian sex together.
12) If you jack off and get cum on yourself.
13) If you get a boner watching Gilligans Island.
14) If you don't get a boner watching bewitched.
15) If there's a Smith song on in a bar, and you are in the bathroom with your dick in your hand.
16) If your name is Richard and you go by Dick.
17) if you're friends with anyone named Dick.
18) If you don't cheat on your wife, you're only using her as a prop to make people think you are not gay.
19) If you are friends with a model.
20) If you fuck a girl who likes the Smiths
21) If you don't eat meat because the Smith's album Meat is Murder had an impact on your life.
22) If you do anything spiritual.
23) If you fuck a pregnant woman and she is carrying a boy, you're gay. If you get sperm on the amniotic sac, the baby will grow up to be gay too.
24) If you have ever had a haircut like Morrisey.
25) If you have ever had a haircut when a Smiths or Morrisey album was playing in the room.
26) If you've ever talked about or owned a crystal, especially of it's crystal meth.
27) If you've ever put band aids on your nipples as a fshion statement.
28) If you've spent more than a week on South Beach.
29) If you're not thinking about tits right now.
30) If you still liked Judas Priest after the rumour that Rob Halford was gay.
31) If you get a hard-on while taking a shit.
32) If you know what sperm tastes like (especially if it's your own)
33) If you kiss a girl with tongue after she'd swallowed your cum.
34) If you get hard when reading this.
35) If you know the names of anyone who's ever been in the Smiths, besides Morrissey and Johnny Marr.
36) If you're a male model.
37) If you get choked up listening to Boys Don't Cry, by the Cure.
38) If you're a clothing designer.
39) If your first, last, middle or only name is Morrissey.