This guy (http://www.nbc10.com/news/15734256/detail.html) misread the memo. Pick your euphemism! Table tennis? Ant-proofing?

It shouldn't have worn that slinky lace tablecloth ...

w...t...f?

do they not sell sexual aids in Ohio ?

Laughter aside, why should there be money spent persecuting someone over the use of an inanimate object for pleasure?

I mean, tables don't do it for me, but hey, it's supposed to be a free country right?

I think if less time was given to screwed up shit like this, maybe we'd get more of the REAL sickos and nasties off the streets.

I dunno, call me crazy I guess hehe.

"four counts of public indecency"

You get the same if you take your peepee out in a ballpark and run out onto the field. Its against the law to get naked in public, not to have sex with tables.

Won't someone PLEASE think of the tables!

Everytime you masturbate, a table dies.

You get the same if you take your peepee out in a ballpark and run out onto the field. Its against the law to get naked in public, not to have sex with tables.

It may not be illegal but heck its just morally wrong, and possibly painful. I think Taleren said it best w....t....f?

Just think of the splinters

Just think of the splinters

/nod we think alike
that is what I was pondering while reading this. well that AND what kind of sick freak gets pleasure from a picnic table. I'd think a tree with a hole in it might be a better choice?

It was metal, so no splinters. Or if there were splinters ... well god, those are the worst kind.

4 counts of indecency? One per leg is rather harsh. He should've stayed inside and given it to the end table instead.

Did the table look at him with that come hither stare?

Perhaps the ottoman would have been a more comfortable choice?

Ask Samanusuke, he would know. He makes videos of him and his Bear Buddies with ottomans all the time...

http://www.evilchili.com/mediaview/11529/The_Fat_and_White_Furniture_Humping_Gang (http://www.evilchili.com/mediaview/11529/The_Fat_and_White_Furniture_Humping_Gang)

May not be SFW...