-Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes down the world.

-Chuck Norris runs so fast that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

-If you look under Chuck Norris's beard, you will only find another fist.

-Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.

-The Boogieman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

-If Chuck Norris is ever late, time better slow the fuck down!

-If Chuck could ever conceivably get into a fight with himself, the winner would be Chuck.

- Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

- Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.

-Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. That implies possible failure. Chuck Norris goes killing!

LMAO, not the Barrens chat, please not the Barrens chat.

I got sick of these things a long time ago. My favorite however is still:

Chuck Norris can talk about Fight Club