The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I

answered it I was greeted with "Is this Karl Brummer". Not sounding

anything like my name, I asked who is calling.

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that. Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling this number.

I then said off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various

angles and the blood smears", I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position and the police were entering the building to take him into custody, at that

point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes.

My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.

BRAVO...BRAVO my friend;)

HAHA. Nice one.

Haha. I love screwing with telemarketers. The best one I had was this:

Telemarketer: Hello, may I speak to (name)?
Me: May I ask who's calling?
TM: I'm with the (company, I forget), and we were wondering if you were interested in a brand new rug for your home, along with an insurance policy. (yeah, I kid you not. This person was a real joker.)

I adapted my angry white Texan voice, which for those who are not familiar, makes me sound rather red-neckish.

Me: Well is it made in the US of god blessed A? 'Cause if not, I've got the loaded 12 gauge right here next to the door! (never mind that I actually don't own a 12 gauge, but you know)
TM: Uhh...I can insure you that at least part of the process for making the carpet was in the US...
Me: Well it darn tootin' better be, because I swear I'll hunt you down and blow you away!

I was giving this guy no quarter. I was very much ready, at least he thought so, to blow him away if the product wasn't made in the US.

TM: Calm down...uhh, no need to be hasty...
Me: Well, I don't need to be no hasty if you is tryin' to push a Taiwanese piece of fluff on me! Just gimme your address and you and me old 12 gauge can have a chat!

He hung up after that. +Rep though Fildien, that made my night.

Cloudwalker :D

Thankfully we don't get that much here, but it happens sometimes if you're stupid enough not to be ex-directory.

I use my father's scouser (liverpool) voice and mutter something about bones. Usually get's rid of them.

Or, here's a good one. When someone rings, pick up the phone, but before they say anything, ask "hi is bob there?" As they phoned you, they'll be buggered confused. "err, uhm, wait lemme see." Work's a charm.

But I thought Bob was your Uncle?

Haha, thats a spin off of one Calvin (of the Calvin & Hobbes duo) used. When a telemarketer called he asked to order a large pizza with extra cheese, then when the person on the other end got really confused he hung up.

Haha, thats a spin off of one Calvin (of the Calvin & Hobbes duo) used. When a telemarketer called he asked to order a large pizza with extra cheese, then when the person on the other end got really confused he hung up.

Ohh man I miss that old comic strip:D

I saw a Borders a Calvin and Hobbes collection. I think they wanted like $90+ for it but it looked to have them all. In case you're interested. They are definitely one of my favorite strips.

Calvin and Hobbes FTW!

when i was struggling for money going to college, i worked at a call center for the 1-800-sellcrap companies and had to put up with some of the stupidest people i've ever met. we NEVER called people, they called us, usually from after watching an infomercial and wanted to order whatever piece of crap that was just on. half the time they can't remember what it was but they know they want to buy it. complete asshats. but the worst one was this idiot from canada who wanted some crapmatic bed and the company didn't sell their bed in canada and the idiot wanted to know why I personally didn't want to sell him the bed. we only take the calls for over a thousand different companies and i didn't have anything to do with the selling policy of any of them. and since all the calls were recorded, i couldn't tell this fucktard to pound sand.

and although i worked at one of those call centers, i still get a thrill telling a telemarketer that i worship satan and all my money goes to buying goats to sacrifice and since they interrupted my dinner that i was putting a voodoo hex making their dicks sprout green boils all over. (they usually hang up before i get that far though, lol)