Hi, I can't even spam properly.

Wow, nice edit time.

My diet consists of steak and semen.

Wow how can I NOT buy something from such a PROFESSIONAL looking website!

MY GOD ETERNAL LIFE! And the whole page is written in ENGRISH.

Definitely! All you have to do is wear these cute little rings and you're totally immortal. Who could pass up something like that?

Me?

Then I am in awe of your willpower. One day, I wish to be just like you. Please publish a book with instructions on how I may do this.

I bet youre wearing one of those immortality devices, to prevent the customers that noticed the scam to kill you.

Sadly, I am not wearing any. Based on the fact that some person in some country is not dead yet, there is a slight chance that they actually work!

Suck a dick?

Only if you have an immortality cockring so I can swallow your semen of immortality.

Hi, bye, don't let Zehn rape you in the ass on the way out