Reason number: 124534423

Those fucking GAP holiday commercials. Everyone in the fucker is white, including the black people. If there's one piece of bullshit cheezy Americana I can't stand, it's those asshole commercials.

Absofuckingloutly disgusting.

Reason number: 124534424

Constant x-mass music... in November.

Reason number: 124534425

Especially if you live in my town, old people drive by houses really slowly so they can look in open windows as peoples tree's. It's fucking annoying and creepy.

#124534426

Corporate guilt-tripping:

Remember. If you don't get your spouse / kids / significant other / parents / distant relatives a piece of jewelry with a rock so fucking big that bugs are pulled in by its gravity, you are a cheap person and will die lonely and unwanted, shunned by society and deservingly so. Asshole, don't be cheap. Do what everyone else is doing, or you are a big piece of shit...

...oh yeah, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM FUKCO!

And people wonder why I SO want to publicly urinate on menorahs, nativity scenes, Santa Claus, and whoever the fuck the Kwaanza Guy is. (I hear it's Al Sharpton this year...double bonus for my pissing efforts.)

You better buy me some damn bling bling Faust or I'm gonna kill you.

KZ

We tried one year to take all the money everyone would have spent on presents and donate it to my uncle's fund for a heart transplant....several greedy relatives flipped out. For a few years they wouldn't even join us for dinner anymore.

Another year, a different uncle (who was also fed up with the junk we were all exchanging) decided we should all buy some rainforest, back when that was in style. Ya know, a gift that might actually benifit someone. He was also boarderline disowned by many relatives.

In my family the corporate guilt trip isn't just tradition, it's survival.

I love the Holidays for this one reason.

Let's say you're going out with a girl you don't like or a girl you've been with for a long time and need a break. If you break up with her before Thanksgiving then she'll have lots of food and then 1 month later she'll get lots of presents. It's great how it works out. Food and presents make people happy during shitty times.

3 words--corporate christmas party.

Hate 'em--all year with the gossips and the sopa operas at work and one afternoon we get together and have a buffet and act all real nice and cozy and 'ain't this a wonderful time of year!'

Yeah, 20 below outside and fake happiness inside.

Yippee...

Just send me home for the day with pay--that would be my best present from work.

On the other hand, Gap babes tend to show some stomach.

I don't think I've seen any GAP commercials this year. I probably did and just repressed the memory or something.

Old Navy ones piss me off more than any others though.